Grant's Rants

I know the title's trite, but I don't run the site. Sorry.

UPDATED
I posted my first article last week, but Matt just got the update on the front page, so I thought I'd update this one too. Y'know, just in case you didn't notice the mysterious link for The Road to Hell on the left. Its ok, I understand its had to notice things on the web that aren't flashing and jiggling.

Introduction

What I feel like inside

Hey. I’m Peter Grant. Its good to meet all of you. What we’re going to be going over in the ensuing weeks and months, and so on, until Bob or Matt shut me down, is all the stuff that pisses me off. I’m a pretty busy guy, I do a lot of stuff, and I come into contact with a lot of stuff. And most of what I come in contact with,…well, most of it needs to be bitched about.

Most things are either stupid, ridiculously stupid, or suicide-inducingly stupid. And so I have to say something, both to prevent me from breaking into NASA to steal a space shuttle in order to escape this forsaken world, and to help me maintain the futile hope that someone, somewhere, with a pc and an internet connection, might actually understand how intellectually unambitious most us are.

“But what about me?” you ask, “Things piss me off too.”

Or what about the countless other internet bloggers or “columnists” who all rant about how Cameron Diaz is a stupid cunt because she wore a tube-top, or that “Bush is just a nazi, man, just a nazi?”

“Pete,” you might be asking, and really, don’t call me Pete, “how are you any different from the rest of us, why do you feel like you need to bore us with your thoughts and take precious internet real estate away from porn?” We’ll get to you in a minute, but as far as the others go, the answer is: I’m better than they are. My opinions are truer, the analysis is more thorough, and my likes and dislikes don’t flit daintily in and out with the seasons. Once I hate something, I hate it until something changes, until I’ve got a reason. Once I like something…well, I don’t know. Anyway, I’m better. That’s the bottom line. As for you, well, I can’t really say I’m better than you (though I probably am), because I don’t know you yet. So, just give me some time.

So, thanks for reading this far, and if you skipped down to here, fuck you.

I’m looking forward to spewing some vitriol around here soon, so I hope you come back in a week or two and check it out. And if you’re wondering what I’ll be writing about, it could be pretty much anything. I know this is supposed to be a pop culture column, but I don’t really care. Oh, and I’ll be swearing in this space too. Enjoy.

Hey, and you can drop me a line too (though at this point I have no idea what it would be about). Try petergrantpageofbobcom